ARTICLES OF ENCOURAGEMENT: TURNING YOUR PAIN INTO PURPOSE

Is God withholding something from your life? If so, it could be that He is preparing you for ministry - a ministry that will turn the bitter areas of your life into a blessing.

That's how it worked with Nicole. Nicole couldn't imagine her life being complete without a husband.

"All my life I've wanted a healthy partnership with a spouse who was also my best friend," Nicole says. "Even as a child, I dreamed of finding my 'Prince Charming' and building a life with him."

So Nicole went after what she wanted…and ended up regretting it.

"During college, I clung to the first guy who paid attention to me, even though I now recall the Lord calling me away from him."

At that time, Nicole didn't have a relationship with God and she continued to cling to an unhealthy relationship out of fear of being alone, even though she was being neglected and emotionally abused. After several years of dating, she became pregnant and she and her boyfriend married.

"This was a do-it-yourself project that failed miserably!" Nicole said. "When my daughter was 2, my husband admitted to having an affair and I was brought to my knees. I turned my life over to the Lord at that point and tried to be a godly wife, but he was openly opposed to my relationship with God and eventually left during our seventh year of marriage.

"While I will never regret having my beautiful daughter, I do regret not trusting God enough to walk away from this unhealthy relationship that cost me many years of pain, not to mention a lot of turmoil for our daughter. Looking back, I see why I can fully trust the Lord when He withholds something from us, even if we think it's what we want. I've learned the hard way that 'Father knows best!'"

Nicole is in her mid 30s now and has been single for almost five years. She has gone through a spiritual recovery program, as well. But, she says, "The Lord continues to withhold dating relationships from me."

A couple years ago, Nicole decided it was time to no longer fight her circumstances but to see what God wanted to do in her life, in spite of them. Along with a widow and a divorced mom from her church, Nicole began a ministry called Single Parent Fellowship (SPF) at her church.

"Although I was initially hesitant about starting it, this ministry has blessed me beyond my dreams and we are now being led and ministered to by a family pastor at our church who has taken us under his wing."

The group meets weekly for prayer, parenting book discussions, Bible reading, and fellowship. They also plan activities together like movie outings, ice skating, camping, and trips to the mountains together. One Christmas the church bought and delivered Christmas trees to all the homes of those involved in the ministry. "We have all become extended family and I am happier now and less alone than I was when I was married!" Nicole says. "More importantly, the Lord has forever changed my heart for single parents. He is even using me now at my workplace to encourage other young, single moms in their journeys."

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